Kobe Bryant is making a full court press to save his marriage … and has sworn up and down to Vanessa he will never stray again if she takes him back.

Sources connected with the couple tell TMZ … Kobe has “aggressively” pursued Vanessa over the last three weeks, and she’s been receptive. We’re told Vanessa tends to believe Kobe, but still isn’t sure the marriage can be resurrected.

And then there’s the subject of lavish gifts.  We’re told Kobe has given Vanessa a very expensive piece of jewelry. We don’t know the price, nor do we know how it compares to the $4 million ring she scored after Kobe’s infamous dalliance a few years back.

As for whether they will drop the divorce, we’re told they are working on a reconciliation.  Several sources very familiar with the couple told us at the time Vanessa filed legal docs not to be surprised if the papers are withdrawn … because they both really love each other.

Heidi Klum is divorcing Seal largely because she has had it with his volcanic temper … TMZ has learned.

Sources directly connected with the couple tell us … Heidi’s decision to divorce Seal has nothing to do with a third person. There is NO issue of infidelity.

But Seal’s inability to control his anger has become too much for Heidi to take, in no small part because it’s affecting their children.

TMZ broke the story that Heidi will divorce Seal, and we’ve learned this was not a snap decision. As one source said, “It was a long time in coming.”

We’re also told … their careers also played a part in Heidi’s decision. She has become a mega-entrepreneur and extremely rich, and that professional evolution has created a distance between them.

For his part, Seal has a new album coming out and he’s about to launch an international tour.

We’re told Heidi and Seal are still living under the same roof, but that will change very soon.

TMZ

Kobe Bryant‘s wife has filed for divorce … TMZ has learned.

Vanessa Bryant filed legal docs Friday afternoon, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

Sources connected with the couple tell TMZ … Vanessa — who stuck by Kobe after he was charged with sexually assaulting a Colorado woman in 2003 — decided to end the marriage because she believes Kobe has been unfaithful … again.

As one source puts it, “She’s been dealing with these incidents for a long time and has been a faithful wife, but she’s finally had enough,” adding, “This one is the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

And our sources say … Kobe “desperately” wants to win Vanessa back and will do “whatever it takes” to save their 10 1/2 year marriage.

According to the legal docs, Vanessa is asking for joint custody of their 2 daughters — 8-year-old Natalia and 5-year-old Gianna — but Vanessa is asking that Kobe get visitation rights, which means she wants the kids in her care most of the time.

We’ve learned the couple has NO PRENUP, so 29-year-old Vanessa is entitled to half of the empire Kobe built over the last decade.

She’s also requesting spousal support … which is typical in divorce cases.  Kobe, who filed his response to the divorce minutes after Vanessa filed her petition, says he will pay her spousal support.

According to the docs, Vanessa is being repped by disso-queen Laura Wasser and attorney Samantha Klein. Wasser reps oodles of celebs, including Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, Maria Shriver and Kim Kardashian.

Kobe went to the Jay-Z concert Tuesday night in L.A. without Vanessa, and people who saw him there say he looked miserable.

Vanessa signed the divorce petition on December 1.  Kobe signed his response on December 7.

Oh yeah, that $4 million ring Kobe gave Vanessa after the 2003 scandal …. It’s all hers.  A gift is a gift.

The Bryants released a joint statement … saying they have “resolved all issues” privately, with the assistance of counsel.

• The way you met, attraction was purely physical and never seems to go beyond that
• He never takes you to his home
• If he takes you to his home, you only have sex in “the spare bedroom” never in the master
• He’s very secretive about his phone and e-mail, beyond personal privacy
• He doesn’t answer certain calls in front of you
• He only calls you certain times during the day – the other times, you can never reach him
• He’s always working late/going out of town on business
• He says he wants to keep the relationship private
• RED FLAG you see another woman’s personal belongs: toiletries, pads/tampons, shoes etc.
• He always changes the sheets after you have sex
• You notice the passenger seat is always set a certain way (i.e. for a woman, short – closer to the dashboard and upright) You know his “boys” will never sit like that.
• He never really wants to get emotionally attached, after you’ve been dating/sexin’ for a long time
• RED FLAG: He never spends the holiday’s with you
• He doesn’t want a joint account – or is overly secretive about his personal finances/spending habits
• He never seems to have any money, or is always asking you for money but you’re not sure where it’s going.
• You never know his schedule, where he works etc.
• You always meet privately, never publicly – so the mall is out of the question

By Midnite Love

Have you ever been a in a relationship with someone  who ” appears” to be in your corner or there for you? What I mean by “appears” is this person will talk to you for endless hours on the phone or maybe even hang out with you, but the minute you want anything more they flee. Some people call this type of person a commitment phobic. However it goes deeper than that. An emotionally distant person will often ACTUALLY want to commit or move closer to a person yet the fear on intimacy frightens them so much that it actually cripples them. Hence the passive aggressive behavior, ambiguous behaivor that’s all to common with this personality type. The emotionally distant partner will use ANY excuse or tactic they can to create avoidance of either you or the relationship/friendship if the “pressure” gets to be too much. For them “pressure” usually will only have to involve either asking them to do something that involves the giving up more time and feelings than they choose. Or asking them to express their emotions. And last but not least, asking for a deeper commitment from them on all levels. The emotionally distant partner is VERY ambiguous, so trying to pin them down to commit to a date, appointment, meeting, etc. is often met with excuses and distance. This leaves the unsuspecting party hurt and confused. How could we go from having such a great time and talking everyday to them just disappearing? And to add insult to injury the wounded party usually isn’t aware of this trait until they are already emotionally invested in this person. Keep in mind THIS IS NOT YOUR ISSUE! IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! This person has issues of their own and you just happen to be in their path/life.

Dealing with an emotionally distant partner can be torturous if you had started to develop   feelings for this person. Nothing is wore than caring for someone AND actually knowing that they have feelings for you, yet they are not capable of showing it. So that brings us to the question “what can I do about it?” ” What can I do if I’m already emotionally tied to someone who is not capable of “giving” more?”

The first thing you need to do is recognize the warning signs and traits of this personality type. This will not only help you decide if you need to move forward without the. It will also help you spot this behavior in future mates.

1. They are emotionless when you are showing “deep” emotions.

2. They  “clam” up when any type of intimacy is initiated. This person will talk the talk when it comes to relationships/friendships, but they can never seem to walk the walk.

3 They freak out  at the mere mention of expressing emotions or spending more time together.  Yes they will hang out with you, talk on the phone, even date. Some will even go as far as getting into a relationship but they ultimately aren’t capable of giving back. They show their displeasure by distancing themselves., not answering the phone, or giving you the silent treatment for days, sometimes weeks.

4. They are never there when you REALLY need them. Oh sure they have came through for you on several occasions, even when you have been in a pinch, but this is not the norm. As a matter of fact they will “conveniently” position themselves to always be unavailable/busy. This way they don’t look like the bad guy if they tell you no, or you simply won’t ask them in the first place.

5.The emotionally distant partner can sometimes be a serial cheater, or they are sure to involve themselves with people who are “unavailable” such as someone who is married, in another state, or who works long hours at their job. This way there is ALWAYS an excuse why they can’t give more of themselves. If the person suddenly becomes “available” such as moving to their town, gets a divorce, or takes a vacation from their job. they become distant or disappear altogether.

These are just a few examples of what emotional distance looks like. Have you experienced this? Are you going through this now? If you are let me say my heart goes out to you. The first thing you need to do is decide how much this person/relationship/friendship means to you.  If you are in love with this person and you feel like it could possibly work out, your judgement could very well be clouded by your emotions. You need to confront this person, if you haven’t already done so to see if they are aware of  how they are hurting you. Secondly you need to find out if they are willing to work on this behavior/ trait, even if it means seeking counseling. Do not be fooled temporary “good” behaivor. Often times we want to believe that the person is trying to make a valiant effort to change, but many times it’s just a ploy to keep you from leaving them. As soon as you get comfortable and let your guard down they are back to their old ways.

Which brings me to my last and final point. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! NOTHING/NO ONE  is worth your peace of and and happiness. If a person is willing to work on their shortcomings  and you actually see a change taking place there might be hope. However keep in mind even with that being said you could still very well be in for a long road of unhappiness while this person works on themselves. People don’t change over night . And it’s not your place nor your job to fix them. Sometimes relationships are like glass, you can cut yourself trying to put the pieces back together. It ‘s better to just walk away.

One day after her prized daughter Kim’s very public marriage became a very public divorce on Halloween, Kris (nee Houghton) Jenner’s biography came out, and it reveals quite a lot! For starters, she cheated on an unnamed PGA golfer (who was 12 years older than her when she started dating him at 17) with the late Robert Kardashian. Then, years later into her marriage Robert, she had a torrid affair with a guy named Ryan 10 years younger than her.

Her account of her deep lust for Ryan is written like a romance novel. She had been married to Robert Kardashian for 10 years, had given birth to Kourtney, Kimberly, Khloe, and Robert Jr., had everything she ever wanted, but felt unfulfilled (she also had recently suffered a giant case of psoriasis, which she thinks was a sign that she wasn’t doing okay emotionally.) She no longer had passionate or romantic feelings for her husband, and even though both Kris and Robert were both deeply into their born-again Christianity, Kris couldn’t stop herself from having an obsessive, torrid affair with a younger guy.

Even though she had all those children, she instead wasted all of her energy on figuring out when she was going to have sex with Ryan again. She would make up excuses all the time, telling her friends and family that she was going out “to wash her car.”

An excerpt from her new book:

Now it was all about sex. One minute I was making brownies for my friends and having a family barbecue, the next I was in the middle of an insanely intense affair. I would tell Robert I was going out to lunch and I would end up at Ryan’s apartment having crazy, fabulous sex for hours in the middle of the day . . . I would drop Kourtney, Kimberly, and Khloe off at school and rush straight to Ryan. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.”

She got sloppy with trying to conceal this Ryan, and started inviting him over to tennis! Robert caught on, and tracked Kris down with Ryan, again and again (she figured he’d hired a detective.) For some reason, the first time Robert showed up at Ryan’s studio apartment, Kris didn’t think he’d come back again. But he did, and Kris’ perfect Beverly Hills life unraveled a bit (but not too much, don’t worry, she ended up getting an allowance from Robert in the nick of time!) In a creepy kind of irony, after everyone found out about the affair, Robert’s BFF O.J. Simpson called Kris over to his house, where he gave her a hypocritical talking to (considering his infidelity track record) then called up Ryan, and yelled at him too.

Kris later prayed and prayed to God to be forgiven for her affair, left Ryan behind for good, and settled down with Bruce Jenner, who is a bonafide sweetie and an awesome man. However you may feel about the Kardashian business, you have to admit that Bruce Jenner is incredible.

Some things seems glossed over in Kris Jenner’s bio (Kris Jenner . . . And All Things Kardashian), but she is surprisingly forthright about a number of things, including this affair.

Kris Humphries is willing to do whatever it takes to repair his broken marriage — telling TMZ, “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents.”

Kris adds, “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

From TMZ

Form our friends at: wife cheating on husband dot com

Catching a husband or wife in the act of being unfaithful can be a very difficult thing. The image of a desperate and disgruntled, stalking partner (uh, that would be you) comes to mind. You don’t want to be that man or woman. After all, what if you’re wrong?

The best way to actually nab said cheating spouse is to proceed slowly and carefully, without making outright accusations or jumping to conclusions. Begin by collecting and compiling evidence, and doing it in as surreptitious a manner as possible. Some ideas to start with (proceed at your own risk, and the risk of your relationship being destroyed, of course):

Start paying attention to the money/paper trail. It’s easy enough to search credit card records– and if you’re busted, you can just play it off. “What are you doing?” “Well, I just feel like money’s been tight lately, and I want to create a budget so I’ve been paying more attention to our spending habits.” Your husband or wife’s reaction to this may even strengthen (or weaken) your case against them.

Don’t stalk your cheating spouse– instead, send someone else to do the dirty work for you. A private detective is certainly the best way to get that final, confirming evidence. But again, you aren’t totally sure if your husband or wife is running around… so proceed with caution. The next step down from P.I. is a good friend or family member. Think about it — if your husband is, say, out at a downtown bistro having dinner with the other woman, how weird would it be to run into your sister by coincidence? Not that weird, really. Plus, someone who is NOT you will be much less likely to blow the cover with a hysterical outburst.

Set up a cyber-trap in the form of a key logger. I know of several people who actually did this. One turned out to be the aforementioned buddy (see homepage for cheating wife story) who noticed his wife’s online activities had become a little dicey of late and wanted proof positive. The other was a former client of mine, and to be honest I can’t remember if she found anything or even why she was using a key logger to spy. But, it certainly gave both parties the information they needed to proceed to the next step — taking back control of their own lives!

…and I cry

Remembering
Every moment he walked in
Uninvited
Intoxicated, inebriated

…and every time

He showed me
How much bigger he is
As he lie over me
Without consent

He placed his hands
Over my mouth
Hoping to muffle my screams

While I can barely breathe

With his 6 ft stature
Overpowering

My 5’6 exterior
And it didn’t help
That he was 90 pounds
Heavier than me

…he showed me
How much stronger he is
As he smacked me
Over and over again
Once he wouldn’t get his way

Wanting to shut me up
Any way he could

While he ripped
My clothes to shreds
Leaving black and blues
In its place

Reminding me
How weak I really am

He made sure
I always felt

P O W E R L E S S

And the more
I clawed into his skin
The more
He felt excited
By the struggle
I faced

He showed me
…how dominant he really is
As he held my hips down

And penetrated his manhood
Deep inside of me
Pinning me down
So he can feel every inch of me

He has held my breast so tight
His fingerprints formed
Within ruptured vessels
Perforated under the skin

We always made it through
Walked into
Many hospitals under false names

Pretending I had fallen
When he had busted my lip
Or broken my nose

Many body parts
He dismantled in his hands
Dislocated my arms
Popped my hip out socket
Shattered my femur
Broken 4 of my ribs
My left leg shattered in 6 places
My right ankle sprained

And every time

He patches me up again
He promised
He won’t do it again

Walking in with flowers
And wishing for a better life
Counseling for our new beginning

But this time…
It was different

The doctor told me
This last fall was absolutely my worst
My rib perforated down my intestines
And into my uterus

After countless hours of surgery
They had to do a mastectomy
And I could never bear children again

He took away my chance
Of ever having a child
When he beat me
And raped me
Over and over again
Showing me
His kind of affection
The kind that would finally kill me
One of these days

And while he stepped away

I discharged myself
Before he can convince me to stay

I will no longer be your doormat
Even though my heart wishes for me to stay

He took away my future
My legacy, my unborn
And he will be etched in my skin
For many weeks
While the pain subsides

I will think of him
For many moons
Till I no longer

Have to lie on my bed
Prone

I will only shed my tears
For what I could have had
If I ever left
For that child that could have lived
Of the defect he left behind
After all the years I stayed

For him
The last tear finally drop
The pain killers will numb what is left
Til I can lay another way
Again

Til I can lay
Any other way…
But prone again

6.26.2011
Planted Daisies
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